


Guilty of Dust and Sin

by Mara



Series: Hate Can Pardon [2]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-19
Updated: 2009-09-19
Packaged: 2017-10-02 12:05:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mara/pseuds/Mara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Given a sleeping tiger, Jack would always be the first to poke it with a big stick to see what happened"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guilty of Dust and Sin

**Author's Note:**

> You need to read "Hate Can Pardon" before reading this, or it won't make any sense. Thanks to Heidi for the beta :)

After their revealing conversation, Jack figured things would be different with Ianto. Maybe they'd go back to the teasing, flirting thing. Maybe Ianto would loosen up, now that he didn't hate Jack.

But Jack had reckoned without Ianto's proven ability to repress and move on. After weeks of stress and drama, Ianto now acted as if nothing had happened. Not Lisa, not the question, nothing...

And it was driving Jack nearly as mad as Ianto's repeated questioning had.

A wiser or subtler man might have taken this as a sign to leave things alone. But Jack was a great believer in nothing ventured, nothing gained...and other such annoying cliches.

The question was what, precisely, he needed to venture. The problem was easy enough to identify. It didn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure out what was wrong with Ianto, after all.

He didn't care anymore. Now that the hate and anger had dissipated, Ianto hadn't found anything to replace them.

He came to the Hub, fed the pterodactyl, made coffee, cleaned up, filed artifacts, kept track of the corpses, and all of it without the slightest expression. Hell, the last time he'd shown an actual emotion (other than tormenting Jack, of course) was when Tosh was nearly killed by her girlfriend.

Late one night, after everyone else had gone home, Jack leaned on the railing and watched Ianto walk from desk to desk in his normal rounds, acting more like a robot than a man. Of course, Jack admitted to himself, that didn't make him any less good-looking.

He could always take the same tack Ianto had, needling and needling until he got a reaction, but really, who had the patience for that?

(Given a sleeping tiger, Jack would always be the first to poke it with a big stick to see what happened.)

"Ianto!" Jack hollered over the railing, hearing the echoes rise up and up until they were lost. "In my office. In ten."

Ianto stared at him, an actual expression of surprise on his face. Then he nodded and continued his rounds through the empty Hub.

By the time Ianto walked into his glass-walled office, Jack still hadn't decided exactly what to do. Well, it wasn't the first time he'd had to wing a delicate personnel situation. In fact, now that he thought about it, he always did these things on the fly.

"Sir?" Ianto asked.

Jack waved a hand as he leaned forward, putting his arms on his desk. "Woolgathering. Never mind." He took a good look at Ianto, who certainly looked as sharp as ever--suit neatly pressed, and somehow he was the only one who'd avoided the flying goo from Tosh's failed experiment this morning. "So, Ianto, what do I have to do to get a reaction out of you?"

"Excuse me?" Ianto's brows furrowed.

"Should I punch you? Kiss you? What will it take?"

"I don't understand."

"I'm getting tired of watching you walk around like a zombie," he said with a shrug.

Ianto's expressionless face didn't change. "I see."

"So," Jack said, standing up and rounding the desk, "I'm asking what I need to do to get a reaction. I was just going to try a few things, but I thought it might be easier to ask." He stood in front of Ianto, just inside the other man's personal space.

Unlike most people when he pulled that trick, Ianto didn't flinch or step back. "Leave me alone, sir," he said.

"I can't." Jack forced his expression to stay hard and cold. "I'm not sure you've decided whose side you're on. And if we can't trust you..."

That got a reaction. For just an instant, Ianto's eyes widened in an expression Jack last remembered seeing immediately after a cannibal had threatened to eat him. Ianto, god help him, was afraid of being forced to leave.

"I'm sure you'll do what's best," Ianto said, back in control.

Jack considered shaking Ianto until his head fell off. "Do you want to leave Cardiff? Do you want to go back to London."

"No."

"Why do you stay?"

"Why do you care?" Another tiny crack in the façade. Just a twitch, but it was something.

Jack sighed and backed off to regroup, leaning against his desk. "Whatever you think, I--we need you here. But I'm not sure your heart is in it anymore. Hell, I know your heart isn't in it."

"I do my job." Ianto's chin came up at the implication he wasn't doing his part.

"Mm-hmm. I suppose," Jack drawled, crossing his arms.

Ianto was an unplucked guitar string, quivering with tension. "What do you mean?"

"You're here. But I can't trust that when the shit goes down, you'll back us up. Do you want to leave?"

"I said no."

"Then prove it."

"How the hell do I do that?" Ianto shut his mouth with a snap, looking rather shocked that he'd cursed.

Jack nodded. "That's a start."

"What?" Now Ianto took a step back, obviously wondering if Jack had gone insane.

"I told you, you've been acting like a zombie." Jack waved a hand. "I need to know that you care what happens." He hated to say it, but he went on. "Even hating me is better than nothing."

Ianto pursed his lips. "So I should hate you?"

"I didn't say that." Jack hitched himself up on the desk and crossed his ankles. "I'd rather you didn't, in fact."

Ianto looked down at the floor. "I don't hate you. It's..."

Jack held his breath.

"Everything hurts." Ianto's voice was so quiet, it barely rose above the sound of the ventilation fans.

"It does stop hurting," Jack said.

A ragged breath. "When?"

"When you get on with the job of living." Jack clenched his hands on the desk, wishing that didn't feel like a lie.

Ianto looked up and Jack jumped off the desk, walking up to him.

"You never answered my question," Jack said. "Why do you stay?"

"Because..." Ianto's voice cracked. "I stayed because my girlfriend died at the battle of Canary Wharf. And I've been alone so long."

"You're not alone anymore."

They stood like that, frozen and unsure. Jack watched tears form in Ianto's eyes and he gave in to impulse. Gently, oh so gently, he took Ianto's head in his hands, drawing him closer. Ianto closed his eyes and Jack kissed his eyelids, tasting the salt that slipped out.

It took more self-control than Jack thought he had, but he let go and put his hands at his sides, taking a step back.

Ianto didn't move and Jack wondered if he'd blown it.

Until Ianto's eyes opened and looked at him, clear and calm for the first time in months.

"Why?"

Jack considered the question. "Because I've been alone a lot longer than you."

Ianto's eyebrows flicked up in polite disbelief.

Jack shrugged. "You'd be amazed how much a little sexual innuendo does to disguise an utter lack of any actual sex."

"No," Ianto said meditatively, "I don't think I'd be surprised at all."

"Point."

"Now what?" Ianto took a deep breath and more of the tension oozed out of him.

Jack grinned at him. "Do I really need to tell you how this part goes?"

"Jack."

Jack sighed heavily. "Oh, you want to talk."

"That might be advisable," Ianto said, gracefully sliding past him and into a chair.

Jack turned, disguising how hot that prim tone made him behind another grin. "What is there to talk about?"

"Tell me about them."

Jack didn't bother to ask who Ianto meant. He felt the grin slide off his face. "Why do you want to know? Still making sure I've suffered enough for you?"

"No. You have so many secrets. I need...something." Ianto stopped, waited patiently.

Walking to the glass, Jack leaned an arm against it and stared at the empty Hub. "She..." He pictured Rose, laughing over a plate of fish and chips. "She was young. So young and so blonde. But tough. Man, she never stopped fighting, even..."

"Even what?"

Jack shook his head. "Nothing. Now he was all teeth and ears and brains. I met him and the next thing I knew I was saving the world. He had a heart big enough to cover the universe and he hid it behind this goofy grin. But try and hurt something that was his..." Jack stopped and leaned against the glass.

"What happened?" Ianto's voice was soft, but not angry. Just curious. Almost soothing.

"They left me." Jack said the words to another human being for the first time.

"Why?" Ianto said when Jack didn't continue.

"I don't know." Jack turned, deciding it was time he took control of this situation. "Do you want to know what I'd say about you?" In two steps, he stood over Ianto's chair.

Ianto raised an eyebrow and one corner of his mouth lifted in that sexy almost-grin. "Certainly."

Jack bent forward so he was speaking into Ianto's ear and put his arms on either side of him. "I'd say Ianto Jones is the most dangerously efficient man I've ever met, clever enough to fool me when he had to." He felt Ianto shiver. "Oh, and he looks damn good in a suit."

"Is that so?"

"I feel sure you'd look even better out of a suit, though." Jack grinned against his ear.

"Is this a good idea?" Ianto asked, putting a palm on Jack's chest.

Jack could feel the way Ianto's hand shook and he pulled back a few inches. "No, it's not a particularly good idea."

"Then why?"

"I'm alone. You're alone. Let's be not-quite-so-alone together."

Ianto stared and Jack waited. Ianto blinked. Then blinked again. Then shook his head slowly. "I do believe that is the least romantic proposition I've ever heard. Even counting the ones from you."

"Were you looking for romance?"

"I..." Ianto shook his head again. "No, but that's not the point."

Jack leaned an elbow on the arm of the chair and rested his chin in his hand. "Then what is the point?"

Ianto's mouth opened and then closed. "I don't remember."

"I often have that effect on people. And that's without the Retcon."

"Look...I don't love you. Sometimes I don't even like you."

"I know." Jack shrugged.

Ianto sighed. "What do you want from me, Jack?"

Jack took a deep breath as he tried to come up with a suitable answer. "I need someone to remind me that I'm human. Like the Roman emperors and generals used to have beside them in the chariot."

Ianto stared at him, then blinked. "Don't you mean remind you that you're mortal?"

"Right. Something like that." Jack leaned forward again, nuzzling Ianto's neck. "And I think you could use a distraction. I'm an excellent distraction."

"So, it's really philanthropy on your part." Ianto tilted his head to the side, giving him better access.

"I try."

Breathing harder, Ianto still managed to speak. "Are you in love with me?"

"I stand by my previous answer: No. Yes. What?"

"Well, I'm glad we've got that cleared up." Ianto huffed out a small laugh.

"Can we sort that out later?" Jack ran his lips down Ianto's neck, stopping to nip every inch or so. "I've got this idea that involves you, minimal clothing, and a horizontal surface. And I'd like to get on with it sooner rather than later."

Ianto pulled him down onto the chair on top of him, warm and solid and not leaving. "I wouldn't want to derail a good idea," he said, running his hands up and down Jack's back.

"Good man, Ianto."

"I feel sure you don't have many of them."

Jack growled. "Shut up and kiss me."

"Yes, sir."

\--end--


End file.
